You're still breathing, but you just can't tell
by RoxxieRhiannan25
Summary: Even though she knew he had a girlfriend, she couldn't stay away from him. It had been like this for two years. She had Matt. And Damon had Katherine. But, there was a draw, too strong for either of them to fight. * I own NOTHING! Just the plot line.
1. Chapter 1

*Prologue*

Even though she knew he had a girlfriend, she couldn't stay away from him. It had been like this for two years. She had Matt. And Damon had Katherine. But, there was a draw, too strong for either of them to fight. Although they had never uttered the word "love" to each other, they knew. But saying it made it all to real. You can't be in love with someone who had a girlfriend or boyfriend. Or at least you shouldn't.  
Driving to California, her mind on a million things, but it all revolved around one person. Damon. Yes, she was there to track down a producer, whom she had hoped would like her voice and personality enough to sign her. She knew her shots were thin to nothing, but she had to try. You'd think shed be nervous. But again, her thoughts had been on nothing but the blue eyes that seemed to follow her everywhere. She loved him, she knew after the first couple of months. And then he met Katherine. Technically, she couldn't get mad because, she had Matt. But yet, it didn't stop her from the rage and jealousy she had in her. So that night, she had made love to Matt in a way she had never dreamed of before. She knew it was wrong the second it was over.

When Damon had started showing up at her work, and asking to take her for lunch, she jumped at the chance. She lied and said how happy she was for him. Praying her eyes were not betraying her. If they did, he didn't say anything. It went on for two weeks, before he gently leaned her up against his car and kissed her. It was a quick kiss, but it still sent shocks to her body. And so they continued. Having lunch together every day. The kisses became more urgent, and passionate. It wasn't long before they were checking into a hotel room for "lunch". She never said anything to him about her feelings for him. and neither did he. It was an unspoken agreement, almost.  
Hearing angry swearing and honks, she was pulled from her thoughts about Damon. She didn't realized she was sitting at a green light. She went through the light and pulled over. Grabbing her phone she sent a quick text, turning off her car she waited.

 _*Hey, what are you up to?- Lena_

 _*Just out grabbing a bite to eat before work. What's up? Miss it here already? -D_

 _*Yeah, actually my mind has been on a few things.-Lena_

 _*Things..? Sounds hot. -D_

 _*PERV...I mean with us, Damon.- Lena_

 _*Yeah.. I knew it was coming-D_

 _*Me too. Listen, I know you're with Katherine, but there's something I need to say. I'm in love with you, Damon. I have been for two years. I've tried not to. But I cant. Just please don't push me out of your life. -Lena_

She didn't realize she had been crying until a tear had landed on her hand as she was typing. His reply came a minute later. Brushing the tears from her cheeks she opened the text.

 _*I wont push you out of my life. But nothing can ever be anymore than what it is, Elena. I love you, yes but I just cant. It would be wrong. I want to make things work with Katherine. -D_

 _*How is sleeping with me not wrong? Or anything we do not wrong?-Lena_

The reply seemed to take years. And her patience was running thin. Just as she was about to hit the call button, his reply came.

 _* it is.. But I cant stop. Ive known how you felt for a long time, only because Ive felt it. You're amazing Elena. And Matt is lucky to have you.-D_

 _*Katherine is lucky to have you... Ill let you go, and try not to love you. But its hard.-Lena_

 _*I know, baby. Lets just see how things work out. You never know. ;) -D_

It had been a couple of days since then, with many wonderful conversations to fill the days while she was away. They talked about everything. Her favorite song, his favorite movie. Their favorite colors. It seemed like their relationship had hit its peak. And she was thrilled. Until that fateful morning.

She woke up to nothing on her phone from Damon. Very unusual. She got in the shower, humming. She had to warm her voice up for the producer. He had agreed to hear her sing, as long as she showed up on time.

After singing for the producer, and finding out that she was indeed going to get signed, she was again disappointed to find nothing on her phone from Damon. So she forwarded her good news to her brother, and two best friends, and him. Their reply's came almost instantly. Still nothing from Damon. Caroline had called to freak out about her best friend was going to be a "superstar" and that she should be her manager. After agreeing with Caroline that it would indeed be a good idea, she rushed off the phone to see if anything was there from Damon. Still nothing.

When she got into her hotel room, she decided to binge watch her favorite T.V show, Buffy the vampire slayer. She fell asleep around the same time Buffy and Spike were having sex on the balcony of a club. Waking up, She checked her phone again to see nothing from Damon. Biting her nails she decided to call him. He picked up on the third ring.

" _Elena?_ " He chocked out. His voice groggy.

" _Um, yeah, I haven't heard from you all day, I was getting worried. I wan-_ " He cut her off before she could finish what she was going to say to him.

" _Elena, I cant talk right now_." **Click**.

She stared at the phone in disbelief. He hung up her. How could he hang up on her? Forcing tears back, she ordered room service and a bottle of tequila. She was on her fifth shot when a text message came through from Damon.

 _*I told Katherine everything. She had a right to know-D_

The tears she had been holding back came running out like a waterfall.

 _*So this means that we cant talk anymore?-Lena_

 _*I'm sorry-D_

She was really crying now.

 _*Don't say sorry. You're not sorry. -Lena_

She wasn't surprised to see nothing back from him. She knew it was done. She curled herself up next to her bottle of liqor, and cried herself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: So the whole time I was writing this, I had Sugarland's "Keep you" In my head. And it kinda fits, I guess. Sorry I haven't written in awhile, I was busy moving across country. Fun Fun.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: Obviously I own nothing! If I did, Damon would have had Elena wayyy before he did.**_

 _ **Onwards Lovelies! :)**_

Elena held the microphone to the screaming crowd. Tears were forming with each and every lyric that was sung. The song was person to her, she had wrote it about him. It had been two whole years she'd heard from him. And her heart ached with need. To keep from contacting him, she poured herself into writing and, singing.

This is where she could sing about him, without feeling as if she did something wrong. She poured her heart out, her lungs aching with every lyric. The music thumping in her ears, the screams from the crowd. This was her life that she made without him. She still loved him, even though she rarely admitted it to herself.

As the song ended, she said her thank you's to the crowd, and headed back stage. She smiled as she walked. The crowd was still screaming. And it made her feel exhilarated. Even though she felt a sense of bliss at feeling like someone got her music, she still needed a moments peace. Walking to the dressing room, she shut out the rest of the world for the night. It always drained her, singing about him.

She sat at her mirror, and stared at her reflection. A lot had changed in the last 2 years. Elena now had blonde highlights in her copper brown hair. She also wore make-up on a semi regular basis. And Matt... Well she couldn't be with someone she knew she didn't love. It took him awhile to get over it, but he was now married to Bonnie. She couldn't be happier for him. They talked occasionally, but he kept his distance. As she kept hers. It was the least she could do after breaking his heart.

Elena couldn't help the tears that started forming. She couldn't help but think of him. She had honestly thought, Damon would have came to his senses, and at least called her. But nothing. Not a word. She had honestly thought she meant more to him than this. But he had let her go. She just had to find a way somehow to let him go.

She was deep in her thoughts, so she didn't hear Caroline on the verge of yelling just outside her dressing room. Her thoughts broke when Caroline burst into the room, quickly shutting the door. "Elena! Great Job out there, you really killed it." Caroline gave a nervous chuckle.

"Thanks, Care. Just doing what I do best." Elena replied. She didn't know what was up with her, but figured she'd tell her soon. "Yeah" Caroline said. Her eyes dropping to the floor. As she did this Elena got concerned. She usually couldn't wait to tell her what was going on. Picking up her brush and running it through her thick, long hair, she glanced back at Caroline. "Alright Care, what is it?"

Caroline briefly met Elena's eyes before looking back at the ground. Just as she was about to say some thing there was a knock on the door. "Just a second" Caroline sighed. Wringing her hands together she decided to let Elena know what was going on. "So Elena, there's someone here to see you. I didn't let him in because I know you're still having a hard time." She breathed. Caroline didn't have to tell her who was waiting for her. She knew. As soon as Caroline started talking, she could feel it in her gut.

Setting her brush down, she went to reach for the door. Caroline stood in front of her, just as she was about to turn the knob. "Now, Elena, I don't want this to end up hurting you, and I wasn't even going to tell you, but he kinda intimidated me. And I didn't want to bring attention to your room. But if you want I'll tell him now isn't a good time." She smiled. Honestly Caroline was a great friend, but could be a little overbearing.

"Move out of the way, Caroline" She left no room for any kind of argument. Caroline looked down at the floor again, and stood out of the way.

Opening the door her heart thudded. She was about to face the person she had been singing about for the past two years. She wasn't sure if she wanted to faint, puke, or run away. Her feet stayed glued to the floor as she opened the door. Blue eyes met brown eyes. "Damon?" She whispered. "Hey, Lena" He smiled crookedly at her.

She stood there just staring at him for the longest time. It wasn't until he cleared his throat that she realized she was being rude.

"Um- c-come in, Damon." He walked past her with his smile still plastered on his face. He glanced at Caroline who was shooting him daggers. "Told ya I'd get in, Blondie" He snickered.

Elena looked at him with her hands on her hips. "Damon, be nice or you can leave." And she meant it.

"Relax, I was only joking." He grinned. "Besides, don't you think our little reunion should be private?" He said looking at Caroline. "Excuse me, Mr. I'll-fuck-you-then-disappear-for-two-years, but anything that you have to say to my best friend, you can say in front of me,right Elena?" Caroline's eyes stayed on Damon's, and all Damon was doing was raising one eye brow at her quick little outburst.

"Um, actually, Care, this should be kinda private." It was Elena's turn to look down. Caroline stared at her speechless for a minute. Then scoffed. "Whatever, I'm out of here. See you at the hotel. And you?" She back to staring at Damon. "If you make her cry, hurt her in ANY way, I'll castrate you. Got it?" She didn't wait for him to respond. Just walked out, slamming the door behind her.

"Damn, she's still feisty." He grinned. "Elena looked at the floor. Then look at him. "Well you can't blame her, she did pick up the broken pieces you left." She glared. Damon just looked at her, looking a little guilty. He should feel guilty she thought. I spent two years of my life mourning him. "Not to be rude, but Damon, what do you want? If you came to rub Katherine in my face. please just go, and spare me. I was doing fine without you." He scoffed at her words. He started walking around her, and leaned down and whispered in her ear "From your songs, it looks like you've been doing fine."

She was appalled. "Damon, this isn't a joke. Now I don't know why you've decided to pop out of the blue, but please say what ever it is you wanted to say, and leave me be." She sighed. Damon was at a loss for words. She's never been this strong before. She was always strong, but not when it came to him. And Damon knew it.

"Listen, Lena-" He started but she cut him off. "Elena, you've lost the right to call me that." He scoffed again." Right, Elena, I'm not sure why I'm here either. I saw your tour was coming and I just wanted to see you. See how you were. " He wrung his hands, looking at her.

She got tears in her eyes and looked at him. "That's it? Really? Two fucking years and that's it?" She giggled. And not in a good way. " Well,Damon, I've been great! Thanks for asking. Now, you can leave." She opened the door for him to go. Damon slowly made his way to the door. "You know, this isn't how it was supposed to go." He tried explaining. "OUT!" She shouted. he walked out and she slammed the door. Sitting down, she began to sob. What did she think was gonna happen? How could she let herself get this bad?

 ** _A/N: Don't worry, it's not the end of these two! Please R &R!_**


End file.
